A difficult time of year
The move into winter is, for me, quite a difficult time of year. The change in seasons doesn't go well with me and Autumn is usually far from mellow.
The light box is now on in the mornings and I'm bracing myself for the onset of winter.
I do an hour of light therapy every morning at my desk at work where I have a LitePod sat beneath my monitor. It can take a bit of getting used to at first and it does make me look like I'm about to launch into a spooky story but I find it helps make me more alert in the mornings and it keeps my sleeping pattern regular as, otherwise, in the winter, I tend to hibernate a bit.
In general, things have been quite positive of late. My partner has been encouraging me to be a bit more brave and a bit less of a worrier which is much appreciated. I've been getting plenty of exercise, eating well and generally keeping a fairly level head. Although a slightly more regular sleeping pattern might be a wise move. I'm getting the right amount in a week but not very evenly spaced out!
This week has been a bit of an odd week. I had an exam on Monday. I don't mind exams. As things that stress me out go, they are fairly low on my list.
However, after the exam, I noticed a definite sense of elation. Sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between happy or relieved and embarking on a journey to hypomania. I don't always get it right but I'd say there is a slight difference in the quality of the feeling. The former is more like being suffused with a comfortable warmth and the latter more like being pumped full of helium.
This felt more like the latter, so I went for a decent session at the gym. A bit of physical exertion can stabilise my mood, be it either too low or too high.
I still had a bit of a panic attack later but it wasn't too severe. I had another the next evening but, again, nothing major.
Most people like to panic before exams, I, apparently, like to do it the other way round.
In order not to aggravate the situation I will be avoiding alcohol and caffeine for the next week or so (vodka and coke is out!) and no lying in bed for too long in the mornings. If I'm at all anxious, it is best to get up when I wake up rather than lying there churning.
