This week has not been great
It started off not too bad, but lack of sleep and of proper exercise, preceded by a more boozy than usual couple of weeks and combined with a lot of stress lead to a fairly poor state of mind.
I had a very severe panic attack on Sunday morning. I had forgotten how debilitating they can be. I couldn't control my breathing, lost the sensation in my extremities so it becomes very difficult to use my hands or even to stand up. Fortunately, I was not outdoors or in public at the time.
I ended up taking enough Valium to knock myself out, once I finally managed to get the bottle open, and sleep it off.
However, just because I managed to stop the acute phase of the panic attack does not mean that it was all over. Once I get wound up to a certain level, the anxiety just hangs around in the background and it can be impossible to relax for days and it also left me feeling extremely tired, washed out and depressed.
Fortunately, my bike has been serviced and is in good shape and my hip has improved a little so I can look forwards to getting a bit more exercise and I'm working on getting more sleep.
Week commencing 29/05/06
Medication: Roman chamomile tea, 12 mg Valium.
Exercise: 5 hrs including some more strenuous exercise
Alcohol: 12 units
Anxiety: increased level of anxiety.
Anxiety Level (0-10): 6
Number of Panic Attacks: 2
Severity of Panic Attack (0-5): 4
Depression: Sometimes very unhappy and finding it difficult to communicate. Depression Level (0-5): 3.5
Mania: Sometimes a bit hyper and high speed
Mania Level (0-5): 2.5
Summary
Not a very good week really. My mood has been swinging from a bit hyper to really quite down depending on how I'm coping with the stress. Trying not to self harm has been extremely difficult.
