Treatments and Supports - Family and Friends

Knowing that family and friends accept your mental health problems and are willing to support you can make a huge difference.

Support can come in many different forms, from simple 'tea and sympathy' to becoming a Named Person.

Here are just a few things family and friends can offer and should think about?

Acceptance
Reassurance
Be there for them
Keep in touch
Be a good listener
elp them get help
Help them learn about their problem
Practical help
Becoming a 'Named Person'
Take care of yourself

Acceptance

Many people worry that their families will think less of them if they know they're struggling to cope. While that might be true for some families, if they know a loved one is unwell the first thing on most people's minds is "how can I help?"

Let them know that you care and that they're still an important person in your life.

Reassurance

Reassurance comes in many forms. At difficult times, just being around trusted, friendly, people in a familiar setting can really help the person to feel 'normal' again.

If they've told you (or let it be known) that they have a mental health problem, let them know they can still count on you as a friend.

Being there for them

Let the person know that they can talk to you if they wish to and make yourself available to them. People will only talk when they're ready, so don't try and force them. Simply knowing that you're willing to listen and take their problems seriously can be a major boost.

Keep in touch

Friends of people with mental health problems often feel frustrated that they never call or visit. It's important to realise that this is partly due to the effects of being ill and not to be offended.

People often don't feel like bothering others with their problems. They can feel nobody will be interested in what they have to say. They can feel sure that they're not 'fit company' and that they're 'no fun to be around'.

Don’t wait for them to contact you! If you know someone who is having a hard time, pick up the phone, nip round for a visit or drop them an email or text.

Be a good listener

Talking is one way of organising our thoughts and can aid recovery from a mental health problem. It can also prevent a person feeling so alone with their worries.

If a person does decide to talk, try to practice what's known as 'non-judgemental listening'.

This means paying attention to what's being said without reacting to it or thinking too deeply about it (you can’t think things over and listen properly at the same time).

As they talk, try to imagine what it must feel like to be in their position.

Try not to interrupt but do ask questions to make sure you understand clearly what's been said.

Don’t try to give advice or opinions unless they're asked for - it's more important to let them speak.

If they haven’t already done so, encourage the person to seek help.

Let them know that there are lots of things they can do to help themselves (check out the self-help section of this website).

Help them get help

Accessing professional help can be daunting. Offer to go along with them to the doctor's.

Read our notes on seeing a doctor about a mental health problem.

There may be a local group that could help support them. Ask at your GP surgery or health centre or check our directory of local contacts.

Help them learn about their problem

Learning more about mental health in general and about specific problems can help people to understand what's happening to them. Better understanding helps people find a way forward. The future can be bright, despite a diagnosis of even the most serious problems.

Help them find information on Recovery:
Recovery from long-term mental health problems is about much more than the mere absence of symptoms. It is not about being fixed or back to normal. It is about having the chance to live a satisfying and fulfilling life, as defined by the individual, with or without symptoms.
morerecovery and any diagnosis they've been given or treatment they've been offered. This website is a good place to start!

Practical help

There may be other things you can do to help. However, you should be wary of taking over basic responsibilities as this can be disabling in the longer term. For example, offer to go along to the shops with them rather than getting the shopping for them.

Becoming a 'Named Person'

People treated under the Mental Health Care and Treatment Act 2003 (i.e. against their will) have the right to nominate a 'Named Person'.

Named Persons make sure a patient's wishes and best interests are taken in to account when they may not be able to speak up for themselves.

They have many of the same rights to information as a person treated under the Act. They can act independently on the patient's behalf, for example by calling for a Tribunal to review their treatment.

If someone asks you to become their named person, you should think about it carefully. It is a position of great trust and responsibility.

Read more about becoming a named person online.

Download the Scottish Government's 'Guide to Named Persons' (PDF - 1.8Mb)

Take care of yourself

Caring for someone with a Mental Health Problems:
Mental Health Problems arise when a problem, life event or situation, disrupts the way we think and feel. This can either be temporary – for example, following a bereavement – or be more enduring. Mental health problems can include suffering stress, constant worrying…
moremental health problem is rewarding but can be exhausting. Even just being a friendly and sympathetic listener can take its toll.

Make sure your own needs are taken care of - take time to relax and do something you enjoy every day.

You might want to talk with someone yourself about what's happening. If you do, make sure you don't breach the privacy of the person you’re discussing by mentioning names or recognisable situations.

Breathingspace is the national listening service for people with low mood but their trained specialist advisers are happy to speak to friends and relatives too.

If you are a caring for someone, there may be a local group that can support you. Look in the Yellow Pages under 'Carers'.